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It's not about you.. It's about them.

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Walking through the main campus of the University of the District of Columbia a few mornings ago on the way to the Metro, I was pulled out of my podcast trance by an assertively shouted, “Excuse me!” I turned to face the well-dressed woman who was clearly on her way to work as well and removed my earbuds.  She asked me, “Were you a math tutor at the UDC?” As background, the University of the District of Columbia has a community college that helps acclimate students with foundational studies in preparation for a degree.  I volunteered there for a while but it had been about 8 years since I last had a classroom of students.  When I answered “Yes” that I had been a math tutor at UDC, “Monica” asked if she could give me a hug, telling me that she was one of my students and had just graduated from UDC with a bachelors degree the prior weekend.  I was stunned.  She went on to tell me that she was just hired by UDC in an administrative role and was grateful for the math help.  As she spoke, memories of her came back to me as a student with a clear voice who asked many questions and stayed focused on getting to the answer of any math problem I presented.  With misty eyes, I told her I was proud of her and congratulated her on completing her degree and landing a great new job.  She made my day.

As I rode the metro to work that morning, I thought about how when I first started teaching I envisioned having a warm feeling after every classroom engagement, knowing that I had done something good for someone in need.  That rarely happened.  In fact, it became obvious to me from the start that this whole adventure in teaching was going to be much more about the students than about me.  That change in thinking freed me to take risks and try new approaches, unburdened from the feeling that every interaction had to be meaningful (to me) in order to be effective.

Somehow I had touched Monica in a way that she remembered my face from 50 feet away, walking in opposite directions with more than 10 years since we last met.  Her hug and news of her achievements was my payoff for putting focus to the students, not on me.


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